For those of you who know me well ever since childhood, I have been judged and pushed around as well as harassed and bullied by other people who thought that I would never be able to accomplish anything in my life because of my disabilities whether it was being able to hold a pencil or to read; and thus I feel like I have to repeat those very words that people used to harm me/take the beatings that I did in the past in order to push myself to do better that I was originally....but at the same time just like what happened in this very episode with Princess Luna, I feel like I have created my own Tantabus that has completely taken over and turned me into my Nightmare Moon that I call False Cobalt and changed me forever from the happy-go-lucky person I used to be into being extremely anxious and depressed who fears what others will think of him as well as what my future will be like because of past actions to the point where I question the meaning of myself/what my purpose in life really is.
So to see an episode where I'm basically in the role of Princess Luna with learning to forgive yourself from your past actions that actually managed to bring me to tears by the end of it really made me realize why I love 'Do Princesses Dream Of Magic Sheep?' so much as an episode that left quite an impact on me and why I love My Little Pony as a show as well as Princess Luna so much as a character that I can look up to; hence why I wrote the letter that I did back at the 'Dear Princess Letter Reading' panel from this year's BronyCon and why I made sure that I got a photo with my friend Sarahndipity Cosplay as Princess Luna afterwards-I knew it was just someone cosplaying as her, but much like Twilight Sparkle...Princess Luna really has left that emotional of an impact on me as a character to the point where I felt like she was really there. Without her to look up to as a symbol of redemption, without this franchise or its fandom...I wouldn't be as socially active as I am now.
As Keyframe said in GoldenFox's review of the episode...we all have our own Tantabus in the form of anxiety/depression-it can never be destroyed and we have to carry it around with us every day, but we need to be able to learn from our past actions and take the first step in forgiving ourselves and realizing that we're not who we were before to save ourselves from letting the Tantabus overtake us and make us become our own Nightmare Moons all over again despite there still being those moments where we regret what we did. The fact that we regret our past actions and try to get better shows that we're not who we used to be...and when you have an awesome group of friends like the ones that I have now because of such a wonderful franchise and fandom, I know that I'll never truly be alone as I have all the help that I need to help get through each day knowing that I can make a difference in this world.
Thank you, Princess Luna...